When hard times hit

June 28, 2011

How else will we find the truth unless we ask for it, and how do we decide to ask for it unless prompted by some doubt? So the conditions for doubt arise in our lives.

Wherever we feel insecurity, darkness, fear, sadness; that is exactly the place begging for us to ask questions. That is the morning light of a new consciousness and we must see it through for full transformation.

Until this point it is assumed that everyone should wish to know the truth- why would anyone want to live under the haze of illusion? This is one of my principle assumptions but it is simply not true. Why? One who’s fear is that they are really unloveable would be terrified of the truth because in their minds this could possibly be true and to know this, really know it as fact would be unbearable.

How to escape this self-imposed psychological imprisonment and slavery to fear?

If you suspect someone you love is cheating you or lying to you, that is a huge suffering. You may go on for years in anguish too timid to find out. But what is the WORST thing that can really happen? If they are, then definitely there may be some difficulty at the beginning but you know one thing for sure is that you will put an end to it.

Religions, friends and mothers can all tell you the good loving truths that make you feel at peace and have the potential to dispel all your myths-turned-fears but it is you and you alone who must desire to know these truths for yourself. Otherwise though they may be true, your scepticism will blind you.

The only way I know how to overcome this dilemma is by experience. Experience of suffering for a long time in that ‘affraid to know’ place: denial and constant telling myself stories of how things must be a certain way- pretending to know rather than really ever asking. When finally I got very depressed (condition and opportunity arising for me to ask some serious questions) it came from within very strongly that I should know truthfully EVERY singly thing in my life that causes me suffering. To only suffer a little, a ‘tolerable’ amount, to let some things slide is still unhappiness and suffering. To eradicate any trace I decided that no pain caused be truth was worth a prolonged ‘behind-the-scenes’ pain- ignorance and illusion.

One day you may wake up and whether you want to or not you may see the walls of the prettified castle you built around yourself crumble down. Because you were too afraid to look outside of those walls you now see how you could have spent all those years outside of that illusion or delsusional happy state, or mediocre state or good enough state. You will not get that time back.

Are you seeking the truth for everlasting peace? Are you afraid of suffering and why? Are you ready to love yourself so fiercely that you’ll ask any question? …and then really listen for the answer?

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